If you know me, you know I'm a creature of habit. I usually try to follow a morning routine based on whatever podcast I’ve recently listened to, aiming to “win the day.” And if anything disrupted that routine, it would throw me off my game. But all of that changed on a February morning. My daughter—yeah, it still feels awesome to say that—was born on February 4th at 4:30 AM. I remember my mind trying to drift away from the moment, thinking about all the other things I’d been working on. Music, podcasts, my health—these thoughts rushed in, almost as if I was trying to protect myself from the panic I knew was coming. It was like I was subconsciously resisting the reality that from this point forward, nothing else mattered.
And then it happened. The nurse checked my wife and said, “Okay, let’s see if we can have a baby this morning.” Suddenly, a team of people flooded the room, wearing blue scrubs and masks. After 45 minutes of Kaitlyn pushing, with my sister guiding her through the process, our baby girl was born.
You see, I’ve had very few moments in my life where I’ve felt truly present. Off the top of my head, I can think of two: my wedding day and the day my father passed away. And now, this moment. The second they placed our baby on Kaitlyn’s chest, a warmth washed over me, and every detail became sharper. The sound of her cry and the look in my wife’s eyes transformed my heart in a way I can’t describe—a love I’d never known before. All the worries about things, projects, and self-consciousness vanished. In that moment, the only thing I cared about was showing love to this little human every day.
I believe God brought me to this moment for a reason. Last February, I was searching for a new job and praying for a path toward a fuller life. What I didn’t realize was that everything would have to be stripped away to make room for what was coming. Since last March, God has filled my life with people and experiences that mean so much to me now. And, to top it all off, He’s blessed us with a healthy baby girl. For so long, I focused on the hustle and building a brand—starting each day with a wellness routine, always looking for what’s next, never truly satisfied with where I was. But things look different now. It’s no longer about me.
There’s no 4 a.m. protocol anymore, other than helping my wife after a feeding or changing a diaper. My morning routine now is spent gazing into the eyes of our baby girl for hours, all while trying to make a pot of coffee. And I love it. I’m truly here, in the moment. It reminds me of an Avett Brothers song where Scott Avett sings, “I’m trying to be here, lift up to the now.” That’s exactly what I’m doing now.
I don’t know what God has planned for me next, but I do believe it involves building a foundation with my daughter, now—not later. Something she’ll look back on fondly in her later years. Because for me, now, a day with my daughter is winning the day.